Elevate Your Life and Soul

#2 The Importance of Rituals With Karina Barrett

Episode Summary

In this episode, I chat with Women's Empowerment & Emotional Freedom Technique Coach, Karina Barrett.

Episode Notes

Show Notes:

In this episode, I chat with Women's Empowerment & Emotional Freedom Technique Coach, Karina Barrett. We dive into the world of daily rituals, what they are, why they are important, the benefits of committing to them and how anyone can implement into their day.

Get the full show notes here.

Episode Transcription

INTRO

Welcome to Elevate Your Life and Soul. I'm your host Mala Kennedy, life coach, mama and spiritual soul seeker. Each week this podcast will bring you interviews, stories and mentoring. So you can truly know your value, know your worth and elevate all areas of your life. Let's rise together.

CONTENT

Mala: Hi, Karina, thank you so much for jumping on with me today. I'm so happy that you're here. And I'd love for you to just quickly jump in, introduce yourself and tell me who you are.

Karina: Okay, thanks.  Mala, thank you so much for inviting me to come on to chat to you today. I just love the difference that you're making in the world. And I'm really grateful that you asked me to chat with you. So I'm Karina Barrett. I'm a Women's Empowerment Coach. I live in Albany in Western Australia. I am also an EFT coach and facilitator, and I hold women's circles in my home and I hold online programs.

Mala: Beautiful, amazing.  I'm so grateful that you're here and I love all the work you're doing. So yeah, you're my first guest so I'm really excited. And I guess before we jump in and get into the all the good stuff, what was the last thing you ate?

Karina: Okay, so the last thing I ate, just then was a toasted ham, cheese, tomato, and Costello white cheese, toasted sandwich.

Mala: Yum, that sounds delicious.

Karina: It was beautiful.

Mala: Yeah, sounds really good. And how do you start your day, generally?

Karina: Yeah. So, every day I start my day with rituals, and I've got lots of rituals that I do. They're not necessarily the same rituals that I do every day.  Most days though when I get up and get in the shower I'll do five gratitudes, and I'll do five affirmations, and then I'll go out and put my oil diffuser on, do my stuff in my house and then I come down to my office in my actual office area...and I'll put my diffuser on down here, and my salt lamp and do some other rituals, I might do journaling or read some pages of a book or I normally do gratitude kata, which I think you know, that gratitude kata as well. And, yeah, not every day is the same, sometimes I do EFT just depends on the actual day.

Mala: Yeah, and is that what you did this morning?

Karina: Yes, I did it this morning. It's exactly what I did.

Mala: Yeah. Beautiful.

Karina: Do you start your day with rituals?

Mala: Yeah, look, rituals have been like a very important part of my day for a long time. I do have a 10- week old. So lately, my day hasn't been starting with them, but I do try to bring them in throughout my day. I think they're really important and really valuable. And as soon as I get a chance to incorporate them into my day again, I will be because they're really valuable...  And so, what compelled you to become a Women's Empowerment Coach?

Karina: Years ago, when I was really challenged with a lot of... well I was being challenged with a lot in my life since I was a young child because there was a lot of domestic violence when I grew up. And then I married into a relationship that was very similar. So, I never felt safe to talk to anyone about anything. And you know, 20 years ago, there really weren't the same people around, like there are a lot of coaches, etc that you can actually go and talk to, and be vulnerable and be safe. So, I sort of suffered in silence for a long, long time. And never told anyone my truth and had a mask and pretended life was all good when it really wasn't. So, when, you know, we've had a few things go on in our...because I'm married for the second time. So ,we've got a blended family and five kids. So, it's been pretty full-on. And, you know, we've had a lot of other challenges along the way. So, it got to a stage where I needed to reach out and ask for help again, because I was self-sabotaging. I wasn't coping, didn't want to leave the house, had anxiety. And I did not talk to my friends. So, I, I learned personal development. And then that made me think, Well, you know what, I can actually support other women with that because of all the life experiences that I've had. I know how women feel. And I can, I can hold that space for women to be vulnerable and come and talk to me and support them through any challenges they've had. So that's what actually made me decide to do this. So, women get to have a voice and they don't have to suffer in silence.

Mala: Beautiful. And how did you get started with rituals, talk me through that?

Karina: With rituals.  That was part of when I first started doing personal development work when I did a workshop with a couple called Alexi and Preston, Alexi Panos and Preston Smiles. And I started with that gratitude kata. Yeah, gratitude was the very first thing that I started to do, and then that gratitude kata, and that's what started me doing rituals.

Mala: Wow.

Karina: Yeah, and then if I missed a day not doing it, I knew how crappy my day would be. Yeah, if I didn't do it, it's just a really... it's a powerful way to start I think, to set your intention for the day, and to set up for a really positive day.

Mala: And for those that don't know, what is a kata? like what's the gratitude kata?

Karina: Yes, so, gratitude...it's hard to explain, now that's a tricky question. The gratitude kata is like a little saying that I say.  Is that how you would explain it? So I thank the universe and I thank all people, I thank Mother Earth and different bits and pieces, and I do actions with it so it's a ritual, but it's got actions that go with it, and it's very grounding...and I think because it's got the actions it's got a lot more meaning behind it instead of you know, even though I do say gratitude doing the actions for that means it's comes a lot from my heart space. It just is really special to me to do that.

Mala: Yeah, what do you find so powerful about doing that? What does it bring about for you?

Karina: Yeah, obviously, gratitude. And it just, I think it just really sets me up with a lot of like, the gratitude to me brings a lot of self-love, if that makes sense. It just makes me feel really empowered to know that I've set my day up properly to be grateful for every single thing in my life. And it enables me to come from a different place and serve my clients on a different level.

Mala: Yep, yeah. Amazing, and why do you think people fail at rituals?

Karina: I think people fail at rituals because they don't honour themselves enough to make the time for themselves. In my experience with my ladies and my clients, they'll start off, and and I've been guilty of that too Mala, I must say, you know, when I first started doing them, like I said, I'd miss days of doing that kata, and I'd feel like crap and think it's because I haven't done my kata for the day. So... and it's because I think, you know, being women we are all so busy, like you said, You've got a bubby and you know, we probably  all have kids, and work, and housework, and all the rest of the stuff that comes with being a woman, and you give to everyone else first, instead of giving to yourself first. So, I think that that's sort of the reason that women if we're talking about women, fail at their rituals, because they just think I'll do it later, and then later never comes around, and I'll do it tomorrow. And if you don't do it first thing in the morning, then you normally find that you don't get around to doing it unless you've got you know... you're disciplined, so you do it when you can fit it in. And because we travel a fair bit too. So, Mark, and I might do stuff like the gratitude kata in the car park, or in the hotel foyer. Sometimes we've been seen doing it. Or we'll journal in the car. But yeah, it's a really important way to start your day and to be disciplined and to honour yourself enough to even take five minutes a day to do it.

Mala: And what would you say to someone who's feeling that resistance to doing them?

Karina: So, I'd be... I'd be asking them what else is going on if they're resisting it, why are they resisting spending five minutes on themselves? What is coming up, what's going on in their life right now? And ask them why they can't honour themselves for five minutes for that day, and I peel back some layers and just see what's going on.

Mala:  And what kind of rituals, let's go into that actually, what kind of things can you do? What is a ritual?

Karina: So, rituals can be anything, rituals can be eating, even making your cup of tea in the morning. That can be a ritual. Can you do it with mindfulness? So, you know, do you want me to explain that, just that one? 

Mala: Yeah, yeah, I would love you to.

Karina: Yeah, so even being mindful. So being mindful is making sure that you're in the present moment right here right now. And you know, sometimes we'll go to make a cup of tea, and then one of the kids yells out and the washing machine stops. So, you put the kettle on and you run and hang the washing out and the kids yell and then you re-boil the kettle, and then you do something else, and you boil the kettle six times before you get your cup of tea. Well, that's not being mindful. So it's about filling the kettle up and listening to the water, going to the you know, to the kettle, and then putting the kettle down, turning the electricity on and just standing there listening to the noises, watching, waiting for the water to bubble, putting your tea bag in your cup, and just focusing on that one thing that you're doing, you know. Thoughts are going to come and go but just accepting the thoughts, and go back to taking a breath and letting those thoughts go, and just make it that you are actually enjoying making a cup of tea, and then go and sit with yourself mindfully. Just drink a cup of tea that is as easy as a ritual can be it doesn't have to cost you a lot of money. It doesn't have to take up the whole of the day or hours. just you know, little things, having a bath. That's a ritual, lighting a candle.

Mala: I'm sorry, go, keep going.

Karina: No, you're right, you're right.

Mala: I was just gonna say I'm really glad you pointed out that it doesn't have to cost a lot of money because I feel that money can seem like a barrier to people when it doesn't have to. And it's a beautiful example of mindfulness. I really love that.  Just making it really simple and being able to integrate it into everyday life. So, thank you, I really am grateful for pointing that out. And what benefits have you found from committing to daily rituals?

Karina: I have benefited because it I believe it sets me up with a positive mindset, you know, I'm not jumping out of bed thinking oh my god, I gotta get this done. We got to get that done. Gotta go here. Gotta go there, I take the time for myself so that I ground myself and set myself up so that if things do fall out of alignment as they do, we're all human and life happens. Doing my rituals and honouring myself allows me to stay focused and not let the little things become big things. Does that make sense? Yeah, I just yeah, because I'm honouring myself and, and loving on myself and taking that time for myself. I just, it's, I find it sets me up with intention and with positivity and with love and gratitude, and when things do happen, it's just not a big, big deal. And that's how I believe that it's helped me by doing my rituals.

Mala: And, why do you think that so important? I mean, there's a lot of people out there that might not realise the importance of that.

Karina: The importance of setting yourself up for the day. Do you mean?

Mala: Yeah, and just prioritising yourself?

Karina: Yeah. Because if we don't fill our cups first and like I just said before being women, we are nurturers, so we want to give to everybody all the time, however, we put ourselves on the back burner, because we don't think we're worthy enough, we don't think that we should spend time on ourselves, etc. So being able to fill my cup, and that's what I teach all my ladies is to fill their cup first. So that, and accepting themselves so that you can give yourself 100% to everyone else in your family, your colleagues, your husband, whoever, your community, because if you, if you're less judgmental of yourself, you know, you're taking that time for yourself, you're loving on yourself, then you're less judgmental of other people. You've got more time for other people you've got more love to give because you love yourself more. I hope that makes sense.

Mala: Yeah it does, it definitely does.  It does answer it and I, I feel it's why I love working with moms because I feel like filling your cup as a mum, you can give more to your children and inspire your children to, to chase their dreams. If you're chasing yours, they can chase theirs, because you're role modelling that.

Karina:  So important Mala, and you know, your children are very blessed that you're doing this work while they're little and that they get the benefits of that. It's so important.

Mala: Thank you, and what support resources are available for people to do rituals? 

Karina: Yeah, so what is there out there for people?

Mala: Yeah, definitely what is out there? What kind of... where have you looked to find rituals or like, what tools do you use?

Karina: Yeah, so rituals. I've learned, you know, because I've done a lot of programs. I've had my own coaches.  I've still got a coach now. And I've done a lot with online programs. I've done workshops. So, whenever I immerse myself in something like that, I'll learn new tools, which I can use as rituals. So, you know, you can buy books on rituals, you can go into Google, if you don't have a lot of money, go on to Google and find three rituals to do every day. You can, like I said before you can make your normal, everyday things that we do. You can use as a ritual. It could be as easy as lighting a candle, writing five lines of how you're feeling, blowing your candle out, like that's a ritual. Anything could be a ritual, making a bed could be a ritual, it's just doing things mindfully and honouring yourself while you're doing it.

Mala: Yeah, what are your top three?

Karina:  My top three would be my gratitude kata, my EFT, which is Emotional Freedom Technique, and journaling, they're probably the three that I really love. And I actually always pull a card every day too. So, my cards are really important to me as well.

Mala: and if you could only do one which one would you do? 

Karina: My gratitude kata. Okay.

Mala: And that what in general, just in terms of like your business and coaching and life I guess, what hurdles have you personally faced and how have you overcome them?

Karina: What hurdles have I faced and how have I overcome them?  So, I guess anxiety is a hurdle.

We also had a daughter who nearly died from anorexia, which was a huge hurdle and that's what actually sent me on the path to start to learn personal development and look after myself. And the things I've done is found online programs, found in person workshops, got my own coach, to be able to learn more tools so that when life does become very challenging, and you know, when I could easily have slipped right back into self-sabotage and be where I used to be, I now have tools that I use, so I don't ever get that low. I'm aware of how I'm feeling I'm aware of what my body is doing. And I think that's a really big lesson in working on yourself, the more of this work that we do the more aware of how we're really feeling and you know, when you're starting to slip a little you're just like oh my God, I realise I'm self-sabotaging or, well, I know that I'm slipping off a bit so I'll pull out whatever tool I've got to support me so it might be more journalling, it might be pulling out more cards, it might be more gratitude, whatever it is to support my way of trying to support me to get through whatever it is that's coming up. It's really important to have those tools.

Mala: Yes, I I don't know where I'd be without my toolbox. And it's how in my experience of postnatal depression especially it was having my tools, my daily rituals, my coaching, like foundation coaching, and feel grateful to myself for doing coaching because it's helped me so much. And it pulled me through that tough period. So, I totally understand.

Karina: And not having them would you have self-sabotaged?

Mala: Yeah, even with them I found myself self-sabotaging and I had to go really deep and really strongly into them to, to, to get past that self-sabotage and it still comes up. Of course, it still comes up, you know? So, it's constantly going back to that and reframing and regrouping and recommitting to it constantly.

Karina: And can I just point out Mala that we are still human and you've done a lot of work and so have I, however, we are human. And just because we do this doesn't mean that we're infallible and we don't have days like that. Of course we still do. We're just blessed that we have the tools.

Mala: Yeah, absolutely.  What makes you feel inspired or like your best self?

Karina: What makes me feel inspired?  Supporting women is that what you mean?   That lights me up, that that is my passion, and my whole purpose in life is to support women.  That's what I feel that I'm here to do. So that knowing that I've supported one woman a day, you know to say oh wow Karina, thank you for that tool. Well that's really changed my life you showing me that or whatever, or pointing that out to me. That makes me feel like my job is done. Like I I've supported someone to enable them to have a beautiful day and hopefully the next time a challenge comes up they can use it, whatever it is I have supported them with to get them through the next challenge that comes up.

Mala: And what are you curious about right now?

Karina: Curious about...Curious about where I'll be in 12 months, time and curious about if I'll be doing what I feel say I'm going to be doing in 12 months time, travelling more, supporting more women globally. I'm reaching out to more people that yeah, that's probably something I'm really curious about.

Mala: Yeah. And do you have a vision for the next 12 months?

Karina: I do, I want to be supporting more women globally.  I have a following of women around the world. And I just want to create that to be bigger. And I want to build more communities a bigger community, because I'm already creating a community but I want to build a bigger and bigger and bigger community of women who empower other women to be empowered. That's really important to me.

Mala: Okay, awesome. And I just have a few, kind of rapid fire quick questions, to round up and then I'd love you to share how people can connect with you after that... but yeah what's your favourite book?

Karina: The Mastery of Love

Mala: Okay, and room, desk, or car which would you clean first?

Karina: Room

Mala: What profession other than your own would you love like to attempt?

Karina: acting

Mala: Yeah, I love that. That's awesome.  I've always loved drama as well. And on a scale of one to 10 how weird are you?

Karina: How weird am I?  One being the least and 10 being the most weird?  Probably an eight, probably an eight.

Mala: Yeah, I love it.  And what do you wish you'd known, what one thing do you wish you'd known when you first started your business?

Karina: How...How to...What's one thing I wish I knew when I first started my business? How challenging that this work is, and how to stay focused. I do now.  At the start, as you probably know, it's very tough. Yeah, yeah.

Mala: Yeah. And if you could remove all barriers and constraints, what one project would you work on? And would you want to be known for?

Karina: I'd like to, if I had, no restraints, etc. I'd love to build not only for women, I'd love to support children that are in need, and create a safe space for them to come to and teach them, these sort of tools that we know, to be able to empower them throughout their life to be able to have a better life.

Mala: Beautiful, and what's the best compliment you've ever received?

Karina: You've changed my life.  That makes me cry Mala.

Mala: Yeah, yeah. And what does elevating your life and soul mean to you?

Karina: It means that elevating my life...means that I get to keep learning, I get to keep working on myself. I get to keep peeling back layers of myself, and then I'll get to show up 100% for my clients that I'm serving and supporting.

Mala: Thank you so much.  Before I get you to share how people can connect with you. Is there anything else that I should have asked you about? Anything that you would like to share.

Karina: No, no, some of them were really tricky questions too.  No that was awesome Mala, thank you 

Mala: Great.

Karina: I like those last ones at the end those quick ones. 

Mala: Yeah, good to have some fun in there.  And how can people connect with you and what are you launching out into the world that people can take a look at?

Karina: Sure, so I've got a website, www.karinabarrett.com and I can maybe get you to put that on there. 

Mala: I'll put all this in the show notes and stuff.

Karina:And all of my programs, etc. are on there. I'm on Facebook as Karina Barrett and LinkedIn and Instagram and I've got two programs. I've got one starting in January, which is the 21 Day Self-Love Rituals to Ignite Your Soul. So, yeah, really important to honour yourself and then in February I've got my signature program called Light Your Fire Coaching which is a really, it's a lot deeper program. It's an eight week online program, enabling women to fill their cup and really work on things that as women were challenged with like self-love, acceptance, boundaries, language and lots and lots of other things and I get international speakers and guests to come in and talk on there and they also get to learn EFT and do one to one with me in that program. And I do one to one coaching and EFT coaching.

Mala: Beautiful, well, this will be going out in January. So that will be the perfect time for your self-love ritual program, if people want to get a taste of what you're doing. I'll definitely link that in and then they can go from there. So, thank you so much for being on here. I'm so, so grateful. And yeah, I will talk to you again very, very soon.

Karina: Thanks very much Mala for having me as your first guest, I feel really grateful and blessed that you've allowed me to do that. Talk to you soon.

OUTRO

Thank you so much for listening to today's show. If you like it, subscribe, wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you love this episode please give it an honest review on iTunes and let me know what you love and what you want more of. Your feedback helps me truly elevate the show into something that really serves you, and allows me to keep pouring my heart and soul into it. This is for you. Let's rise together. And remember, know your value know your worth. I love you beautiful soul.